Human behavior isn’t as rational as we like to think – it’s often quite predictably irrational. By understanding how our brain and emotions work, mediators can handle conflicts far more effectively.
Why is neuroscience relevant to mediation?
When parties come to a mediator, they are often in crisis and have tried, but failed, to resolve the conflict themselves. In such circumstances, the brain produces the stress hormone cortisol, which impacts how we focus, think, and make decisions. In short, what we perceive as rational can quickly be overshadowed by stress and emotions.
Three levels of brain function:
- The Reptilian Brain: Governs our immediate survival responses such as fight, flight, and freeze.
- The Limbic Brain: The source of our emotions and social bonds – this is where anger, fear, and love arise.
- The Neo-Cortex: Our thinking and rational brain, responsible for analysis, planning, and problem-solving.
In a conflict situation, it’s often the limbic brain that takes over, making parties appear “irrational.” This is entirely normal, but a skilled mediator can recognize this shift and adapt their approach accordingly.
The brain’s three-goal system:
- The Avoidance System: Motivation driven by threats and punishment.
- The Approach System: Motivation driven by rewards.
- The Reward System: Motivation through contact with others.
The brain is more reactive to threats than to rewards, meaning that negative interpretations of situations often take precedence. In negotiation and mediation, the “threat” experience often revolves around communication. When communication is perceived as threatening, ambiguous, or unclear, a negative interpretation will be drawn, if possible, rather than a positive one. In psychology, there is a powerful principle called “bad is stronger than good,” meaning that we are more attuned to potential threats than to what works well. For example, at the mediation table, when the other party makes unreasonable demands or expresses their position, our brain has a negativity bias. We are all highly reactive to these “threats.” It actually takes five positive actions to counterbalance one negative. As a mediator, you need to help parties shift their focus from threat to opportunity.
Emotions in mediation – what we need to know
Emotions such as anger, fear, and sadness are part of the brain’s protective mechanisms. Dr. Paul Ekman calls this “Core Relational Themes,” which inform how we relate to others and handle situations. When we are stuck in what is called a “refractory state,” we are not receptive to new ideas – a stage that often lasts around 20 minutes. As a mediator, you can make a significant difference by recognizing this state and adjusting your strategy accordingly.
Rationality, law, and financial calculations alone are not enough in mediation. Understanding the brain’s reaction patterns and emotional life can make you a far more effective mediator. By actively listening, reframing, and using various tools for effective dialogue, such as strategic pauses, you can break negative patterns and help parties see new possibilities.
Take your mediation skills to the next level
Do you want to become a more effective negotiator or mediator and learn how to apply insights into brain function in negotiation situations? Get in touch with Wægger Negotiation Institute to participate in our courses, sparring sessions, or receive tailored advice for your negotiation challenges.